Authenticity

Authenticity is less about becoming someone new and more about remembering who you've always been.

Authenticity is one of the core values I want to lean into more. I have been thinking about why the butterfly feels connected to authenticity for me. At first, I thought it was because of transformation. That is usually what people think about when they see a butterfly. Change, growth, becoming something new.

Then I looked back and realized the butterfly has been around me for a long time. Butterfly is also a popular brand in table tennis. When I was a kid, I used to wear clothes with the butterfly symbol on them. It was part of my world before I even thought about symbols or meaning. It was just there. On my shirts, in my sport, in the life I was living.

Then over the years, every time I had an achievement, or sometimes for my birthday, people would gift me something with a butterfly on it. A necklace. A shirt. Small things like that. Now there is a butterfly in the Back to Being logo too, if you have not noticed.

So I started wondering what that means. I think part of it is childhood.

As children, we are usually the closest to our authentic selves. Before we learn judgment, we are just being. We do not think so much about how we are being perceived. We do not know how to please everyone. We do not wake up and ask, “How can I be more acceptable today?”

We just like what we like. We cry when we are sad. We get excited about small things. We say what we mean. There is something so honest about that.

Then we grow up. We learn what people expect from us. We learn what gets approval. We learn what makes us successful, respected, accepted, loved. Slowly, we start creating a character. We build an identity around what we have been through, what we were taught, what we achieved, what hurt us, what protected us.

And of course, that is part of growing up. Our identity evolves. We are not supposed to stay the same forever.

But I think sometimes we move so far away from ourselves that we do not even notice it. One day we ask ourselves, “Is this really me?”

For me, authenticity is not about being the same person forever. I think it is more about being honest with where you are now.

Who are you when no one is around?

What is important to you?

How are you actually feeling?

What are your own definitions of success, love, belonging, strength, happiness?

What do you want, before you edit it to make it sound reasonable?

What do you believe, before you try to make it acceptable?

I think a big part of authenticity is vulnerability.

Not the kind of vulnerability that looks pretty after everything is already figured out. The real kind. Showing up while you are still in process. Letting yourself be seen before you have the perfect words. Being honest when you are unsure. Not waiting until you are perfect to be real.

I think for a long time, I thought I had to be more ready before I could show up. But authenticity is not about showing up only when you are perfect. That does not mean sharing everything with everyone. I do not think authenticity means having no boundaries. Some parts of us are private but it does mean not abandoning yourself just to be accepted.

Because sometimes we live with definitions that were never ours. What if those words mean something different now?

What if success means feeling aligned?

What if confidence means showing up while still feeling nervous?

Maybe that is why the butterfly keeps coming back to me. It reminds me of childhood. It reminds me of table tennis. It reminds me of a version of me that was not trying so hard to explain herself. A version of me that was just living, moving, trying, playing, feeling.

Authenticity is not about becoming someone completely new. Maybe it is about coming back to the parts of us that were always there. The parts that got covered, quiet or learned to wait.

For me, leaning into authenticity means coming back to my own definitions. It means listening to myself before I look around for approval. It means allowing myself to be seen without needing to be perfect.

A question to sit with:

Where in your life are you ready to stop performing and come back to yourself?

With heart,

Bahar